I walk alone.

For mood music: Greenday: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_1PMEfUMQI

This post is a little along the lines of the last post. Kind of like a continuation and explication....

Have gone through the first day of Spring 2013 classes. I see so many people's mouths move at once, and hear sounds come out, but do not understand the words. The dull roar of this continuous cacophony of irrelevance begins to give me headaches. Such a noisy campus.... 

I see couples everywhere around here. They look blissful, and I'm happy for them. But it makes me so lonely in the crowd.... Going to a technical school has turned out to be the most lonely thing I've yet encountered. It's hard to maintain focus and motivation when there's nobody to share the experience with....

The lyrics to the linked song describe my feelings, and situation well. So well.... I wish the situation would change, but I'm powerless to do anything about it. Am I, really? I don't know anymore....

It's been a long day. Too long. Only one day of classes down, and already am ready to move on. It's time for a change of scenery; ...let's just get this semester over with. 

I probably shouldn't express such personal things on the Internet, but what else can I write but the truth? How can anyone expect me to keep wearing a mask of constantly shallow, ever over-optimistic happy stuff that ends with a witty quip? It's what people like to read, but not what I like to write. One of the many benefits of writing in a blog and not on Facebook is that everything you write is not splattered in the readers' faces, so you tend to panic your friends and acquaintances less when you write depressing posts. Oh well. I wonder if anyone will read this blog and learn to not make the same mistakes I have? Or at least realize they're not alone in such thoughts?


(Excerpts from the lyrics of Boulevard of Broken Dreams; for those of you who don't want to click on the mood music link)
I walk a lonely road/
The only one that I have ever known/
Don't know where it goes,
but it's home to me and I walk alone/
I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams/
Where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk alone/
I walk alone/
I walk alone/

I walk alone/
I walk a/

*Chorus:*
My shadow's the only one beside me/
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating/
Sometimes I wish that someone up there will find me/
'Till then, I walk alone/*end of chorus*

I'm walking down the line/
That divides me somewhere in my mind/
Of the borderline of the edge and where I walk alone/

*other lyrics*

Check my vital signs and know I'm still alive/
And I walk alone/

*more lyrics*

I walk this empty street/
on the boulevard of broken dreams/
Where the city sleeps/
And I'm the only one and I walk a/

*a few more lyrics before the song ends with a guitar solo*


_BlueScreen, 201301172315